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Free Retro-Styling Spectacles Zombie Eye Glasses
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Perhaps Jonathan Franzen would find these more appealing and easier to keep away from thieves than his "heavy, brown, horn-rimmish sort of things." Then again, perhaps not.
Print on stiff paper. Attach ear pieces to frames (flap A to A, B to B, and so forth). For best results, blacken the cut edges of the paper with a marker. If you need to see for some reason, cut out the center of the bullet hole. Wear proudly.
